Around mid March in 2020, my girlfriend and I were hanging out on the couch in the living room when she received a text. It’s a text from a friend of hers who is claiming that she has a friend who “works in California’s government body”. This text is an eye-opener. It declares that a lockdown is incoming due to this new virus that has been popping up in the news here and there. My girlfriend, who is much wiser than me, begins to worry and panic. I thought the text was being dramatic and thought that it was impossible for the state, let alone the country, to shut down. How silly of me.
2020 was an absolutely wild year that almost felt as if it was a long and tired dream. Days blended with each other. Normal things like picking up groceries became a whole day ordeal. With a myriad of issues this year, how does one reflect on a year which leaving your home could be potentially dangerous? For me, this year was a year that I needed to be in nature the most.
Thankfully, 2020 wasn’t a terrible year for photography. I made a number of trips to some of my favorite parks (safely) as well as a handful of trips to new locations (safely). I attended Out of Chicago’s online conference, reached out to a couple of landscape photographers that I admire for lessons/critique, and revisited old images with fresh perspectives. What pulled me through the year, among other things, was finding my peace in nature that I visited in 2020. Being 100% conscious of my surroundings with little to no worries of the life I had back in Los Angeles were small blessings throughout the year.
In 2020, I also finally received some form of solace. About 2 years ago, I developed an upper extremity blood clot in my upper left subclavian vein, and another clot in my left brachial vein (left arm). This came to me as a shock given blood clots aren’t normal for someone at my age, let alone the location of the blood clots. This one event absolutely turned my mental state upside down. I was in a constant state of anxiety because I didn’t know why I developed a clot. I was put on blood thinners for 5 months until an ultrasound proved that both of my blood clots were gone. It was tough but I was slowly able to return to a stable mental state. But there was always this lingering thought of whatever caused my clots may still remain in me. Flash forward to June 2020. I came back from a regular run and my right hand and arm was enlarged and really red. I didn’t think much of it until it happened again. And again. And again. I mentioned it to my girlfriend and within an hour, I was at the ER. A trend is starting to appear… The ER was now a familiar experience to me. By the end of the night, I am told I’ve developed another blood clot. This time, in my upper right subclavian vein.
It was odd because I had been here before but this time, I didn’t have the anxiety. I knew how to handle the emotional stress from the first time around. It is now January in 2021 and throughout many doctor appointments and extensive tests, I know that I am healthy. We still don’t yet know what is causing the blood clots, so I am on blood thinners indefinitely, but I am happy that all other terrible possibilities have been ruled out. My days now are just a little bit brighter. In the past couple of years, I’ve been photographing to heal through my anxieties. I’m really looking forward to photograph from a place of love and admiration rather than in fear of the “what if’s”.
With that said, here are some of my favorite images that were made in the 2020 year and some thoughts attached to each set of images.
Falls Colors in Zion:
The stars aligned and I finally had my chance to photograph fall colors in Zion in 2020. It was terribly difficult but I think I came away with a handful of images that I really enjoy. It was an attack to the senses in some areas of the park as the colors were so loud and apparent. I strived to make a meaningful image that is beyond the vibrant colors and I hope it shows in this set.
Details in general :
I noticed the smaller details a whole lot more. I photographed some really small scenes in hopes in making them bigger than they actually are. This set of images were all focus stacked meticulously. I really enjoy finding these scenes. There is a sense of wonder in knowing I can go on a hike and peer down into a pond or pool of water and find something amazing.
Experimentation:
I experimented A LOT in 2020. The below images are a couple that made I actually thought were good enough to share. Although these images might not be too crazy, I feel they are a step in the right direction. They aren’t images I would of made years ago and they feel progressive enough. I noticed myself looking at compositions more so in shapes and patterns rather than the literal subjects I am photographing. The most clear example is the image I took in the Redwoods that I aptly named “X’s and I’s” as there are quite obvious resemblances of these shapes.
New explorations:
I was also able to make it out to various Redwood state and national parks in 2020. I’ve solely been exploring Zion mostly, with some Death Valley sprinkled here and there. It was fun and challenging to photograph forest scenes. They are so incredibly hard to shoot. I felt on this trip, more then any others, the light guided me on what to photograph. I was open to all and anything and I really hope that shows in these images below.
